After the previous day's washout, it was with some trepidation that the first X1 assembled at Cumberworth. Not only were they attempting to play the Premier League Champions on their own ground, with blacker than the darkest black clouds skirting the ground, and with no lucky LP Bell in the side, they were also faced with the prospect of looking after Spanky, who had settled down at Mirfield Cricket Club with a bottle of Jack Daniels at 4pm the previous afternoon... How would the second washout in 3 Saturdays affect the young tyro? Only time would tell....

The side was subject to a couple of changes - Father and Son Mahmood and Amjad were unavailable - presumably there had been an outbreak of killer ladybirds in the Batley area - and with Nas Saudegar still having a delightful time in Turkey, Rob Haigh and Danny Martin came into the side and Steve Kirkby had a rare Sunday outing. The toss was made on time, surprisingly as the foul weather all around managed to miss the ground. Inevitably, on a wicket that would have been at least soaked through the previous day, the winner of the toss would insert the opposition. So it proved, and Mirfield were asked to bat. Neal and Bolt opened against Parkes and Captain Kilner. Parkes clambered up to the top of his run, and then galloped down the slope at Cumberworth to bowl, while Kilner chugged in from the infamous "Cumberworth Drain" end.

Initially, Bolt and Neal made steady progress against the bowling. Parkes, while quick for the HCCL, was bowling full and extracting little bounce, while Kilner plugged away on out outside off stump. Both players played well off their legs, and all looked rosy in the Mirfield Garden, as the stand reached 33 for no loss. Parkes then changed tactics, and began to pitch short of a length and, this change in tactic, together with the drying pitch, caused an immediate change in the complexion of the game. Bolt tried to hook Parkes, but the ball, which by now was taking huge divots out of the track, looped slowly off the glove to give a simple catch to Cilla Black-Senior behind the stumps. 33 for 1. Next over from Parkes, Neal tried the same shot, with the same result. 33-2. The watching from the non-strikers end Kaye was joined by Carrington. 3 balls later, Carrington poked a wide long hop to point and ambled off - 33-3. Hungover Dickie Holdsworth joined Kaye.

Kaye was intent on not playing any shots until he was set - to the extent that he had no idea what to do when presented with the worst ball of his career, which he lamely patted back to the bowler, Haigh, who had replaced Kilner. Another maiden was played out by Kaye, and then Holdsworth got a lifter from Parkes, which caught the glove and was taken behind - 33-4. Kirkby came out, and managed something that had not been done for a while - he scored a run - from the last ball of the over. Kirkby then faced up to the nagging and quiet Haigh (quiet and Haigh are not normally two words put together in a MCC match report). Halfway through his run up, Haigh changed into Shane Warne, and bowled Kirkby with a superb slower leg spinner that came back two feet and kissed the off bail. 34-5. Not much you can do about those ones. Laslith Malinga strode out, Haigh bowled a quicker ball which rapped him on the pad, and the umpires finger was up. 34-6. The whisky addled Allen joined Kaye, and survived the hat-trick ball. Parkes was still tumbling down the hill and making use of the pitch. Kaye left 3 balls, and played forward to the fourth, which spat and hit his glove and looped to short leg. 34-7 - and 50 was looking like a match winning total at this stage. Danny Martin was next in, as the dismissed batsmen wandered aimlessly round the ground, looking for more interesting drains and gulleys to look at.

By this point, Parkes had finished his 12 over allocation with excellent figures of 5-23. Haigh trundled in a little longer, as Allen and Martin attempted to re-build the innings. They put together a mammoth stand of 8 runs, until Haigh got one through Martin to bowl him for 1 - 42-8, and the end was nigh. AJ Zarif is no mug with the bat, and that combined with the removal of Parkes from the attack meant that runs began to trickle. Allen was his usual cheeky chappy self, endearing himself to his opponents with kind words and pleasant banter, and the two proved an effective team, building slowly a great partnership. The Cumberworth Drain end of the ground was the more profitable scoring area for the pair, who drove well and ran quickly between the wickets. The group of dismissed batsmen had now come to rest by the roller, and, in the best tradition of cricketers down on their luck, stayed there while the stand built, in fear of movement bringing a dismissal. The stand grew, as did Cumberworths frustration at not being able to finish off the innings. The more the dismissed batsmen encouraged Allen, the more he grew in confidence, even to the extent of hitting a six, something that is as common as him leaving the club without finishing a bottle of JD. Zarif too began to grow in confidence as the bowling was changed to try to effect a breakthrough. The stand flourished as the pair added over 60 for the 9th wicket, until Zarif went for one big hit too many and skied one to be well caught by Haigh on the edge.

Rainbow Monster (you had to be there..) Haigh strode to the wicket, looking to support Allen in his quest for a first ever first class fifty. The tempo was raised briefly, but after slapping a four Haigh was bowled, leaving Spanky high and dry on 41 not out, frantically searching through the contacts on his mobile phone to find Andy Gale's number to let him know how he'd gone on.... 113 the final total - massive riches from 42-8 and a target to bowl at, especially if the track behaved as it had in the first innings.

Dolly and Senior J faced up to the bowling of Harrison and Carrington - Carrington being watched by his Lady Mayoress resembling mother by now. The call was for tight bowling, which was the case initially but the wicket was worryingly docile second time around. Harrison bowled some jaffas but also was edged for runs, and Carrington was driven when he pitched too fully. In an effort to conjure a breakthrough Kaye replaced Harrison, but his magic arm wasn't working. Carrington induced a false shot from Dolly, and Allen nonchalantly pouched the catch one handed above his head. Cilla Black-Senior joined Senior J, and the pair set about whittling away at the Mirfield total. The pitch had dried beyond the spitting stage, and began to keep low, and both players had escapes when last minute chopping down on the ball. Allen replaced Kaye and cemented his place as MOM with a testing probing spell, but one which proved unsuccessful. Zarif replaced Carrington and bowled really well, again without any luck or assistance from the wicket. The Seniors drove well, eschewing the cross bat shots that had brought about many Mirfield batsmen's down fall, although Cilla Black did get caught in the psychological net being woven by Messrs Kaye and Carrington. They took their side to the brink of victory, when Rainbow Monster capped a tight spell by getting a shooter through Senior J's defence. As the Mirfield Fielder's thirst increased as the agreed drinks break failed to materialise, Yates hung around until Bolt was introduced into the attack with 18 runs needed. One over and 4 slogs later - game over.

Cumberworth without doubt were the better side on the day. and used the conditions to their best advantage - you don't win the Premier League as often as they have in the last few years without being a good side. The Quality of the pitch did spoil the game - Azaad's looked like the Oval in comparison - and we can have no quibbles over the result. A bit more luck may have helped, but you make your own luck and we didn't make the most of our opportunities. The spirit in the side is good, and would be made better by a bit more determination and bloody-mindedness - qualities not usually associated with Spanks but ones that he and the Asian Babe demonstrated today. We need more of that if we are to claim the league title.

Questions this week - should Spanky have been drug tested? How did all those clouds miss the ground completely? Are all Cumberworth people told the story of the Cumberworth Drain as soon as they are born? Why did the Rainbow Monster only eat half the Rainbow?

Man of the Match: B. Allen
Fielding Point:
Next Match: Woodfield Park - Away - 7th July 2007

Mirfield A Innings						Cumberworth A Bowling
No.	Batsman	How Out	Bowler	Runs		No.	Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts	Avge
1	P.Neal	Ct. J A Senior (w/k)	R.Parkes	16		1	R.Parkes	12	5	23	5	4.60
2	D.Bolt	Ct. J A Senior (w/k)	R.Parkes	16		2	M.Kilner	4	1	9	0	-
3	A.Kaye	Ct. M.Dolly	R.Parkes	0		3	J.Haigh	9	6	7	3	2.33
4	J.Carrington	Ct. C.Kilner	R.Parkes	0		4	R.Greaves	10	2	18	0	-
5	R.Holdsworth	Ct. J A Senior (w/k)	R.Parkes	0		5	J Yates	4	1	18	0	-
6	S.Kirkby	Bowled	J.Haigh	1		6	G.Senior	5	0	32	2	16.00
7	M.Harrison	LBW	J.Haigh	0
8	B.Allen	Not Out		41
9	D.Martin	Bowled	J.Haigh	1
10	A.Zarif	Ct. J.Haigh	G.Senior	26
11	R.Haigh	Bowled	G.Senior	4
			Extras	8			Extras			6
	Total	All Out		113			Totals	44	15	113	10	11.30
Cumberworth A Innings						Mirfield A Bowling
No.	Batsman	How Out	Bowler	Runs		No.	Bowler	Overs	Mdns	Runs	Wkts	Avge
1	M.Dolly	Ct. B.Allen	J.Carrington	13		1	M.Harrison	4	2	14	0	-
2	J.Senior	Bowled	R.Haigh	43		2	J.Carrington	6	1	25	1	25.00
3	J A Senior	Not Out		34		3	A.Kaye	3	0	11	0	-
4	J Yates	Not Out		18		4	A.Zarif	8	2	25	0	-
5	G.Senior					5	B.Allen	4	1	11	0	-
6	R.Parkes					6	R.Haigh	4	2	5	1	5.00
7	M.Kilner					7	D.Bolt	1	0	19	0	-
8	J.Haigh
9	R.Greaves
10	C.Kilner
11
			Extras	6			Extras			4
	Total	For  2	Wickets	114			Totals	30	8	114	2	57.00